What's trust got to do with it?

Last week I re-read Don Everts and Doug Schaupp’s fantastic book “I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus.” Reading this book changed my perspective on evangelism and discipleship profoundly. The paradigm shifts that Everts and Schaupp introduce throughout the book are truly enlightening and give the reader a more accurate understanding of the journey to salvation that many postmoderns take.

One of my favorite sections of the book is pretty early on, in the chapter discussing the first paradigm shift. Everts and Schaupp make the point that, before a postmodern is ready to even hear the gospel, let alone accept the gospel message, a relationship of trust needs to be established. This can be one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome, and a lot of times Christians don’t make it any easier. This is an important step to understand, and it’s one that many Christians gloss over. This isn’t intended to be an attack on street evangelism, but we often get in the mindset that we can just go up to someone and Way-of-the-Master them to Jesus. In many cases, this only makes it harder for that postmodern to break through that barrier.

Everts and Schaupp outline “Five Knee-Jerk Reactions to Distrust”

• We get defensive.
• We get offended.
• We avoid further conflict.
• We get judgmental.
• We get argumentative.

Sometimes we do all five in one conversation. 

What I appreciate most about this section, however, is that Everts and Schaupp don’t end the chapter there. Instead of dropping their criticism and wagging their fingers at the reader,  they offer “Five Kingdom Habits to Build Trust” as an alternative to the knee-jerk responses. These habits are:

• Instead of getting defensive, we can pray both for them and also for us and our response.
• In stead of getting offended, we can attempt to learn and gain perspective from them.
• Instead of avoiding, we can choose to bond with them.
• Instead of getting judgmental, we can choose to find things to affirm.
• Instead of getting argumentative, we can choose to welcome them into our lives.

I’d like to say that I’ve mastered these habits, but I haven’t. This section convicted me in their very honest and accurate critique and encouraged me to respond to distrust in a more Christlike way. 

The discussion of the last Kingdom Habit paints a great picture of discipleship.

In John 1 Jesus offers some brand-new acquaintences the increadible gift of hospitality, “Come and see,” he says. They are curious about him, and he intives them into his world. They get to come and se, to get to know him by seeing who he really is. Jesus wants to spend time with them instead of preacing a sermon to them. He’s not pushy; he simply invites them in and opens up an opportunity for deeper relationship. “Come and see” is one of the most authentic, transparent gifts we can give.

May we all be more open and inviting to those around us. May we have the grace to exhibit Kingdom habits rather than knee-jerk reactions when faced with distrust. May we live lives that don’t send people running when they see us, but make them curious about Jesus.